It’s easier to run backwards on the winding trails, hide in the cold-hearted threats and ignore what’s lurking in the shadows, isn’t it?
It’s easier to wash your helplessness and displacement away by drowning in tears because of your past or your title, isn’t it?
It’s easier to keep your darkest secrets locked securely away so no one can ever see them, much less catch a glimpse of them in the mirror, isn’t it?
It’s easier to bury all the things that have been stolen from the deepest parts of you, isn’t it?
I daresay it’s even easier to pacify all of your torment with the soothing effects of something numbing and lifeless, isn’t it?
It is, because easier is where I found my place of refuge and immunity for the last 12 years.
Easier was desirable, comfortable and more convenient.
Easier was effortless, painless and uncomplicated.
Easier was cordial, amicable and nonviolent.
Easier was… well, just easier.
But easier isn’t always better, unfortunately.
Easier also took advantage of my brokenness and misery.
Easier was merciless in its chase and deafening in its roars.
Easier studied me, it knew me, it preyed on me with intense salivation and thirst.
Easier suffocated my desires, dreams and hopes.
Easier concealed my light under an impenetrable bushel of rose-studded thorns.
It wasn’t that I wanted or sought out easier, I just needed relief so easier became my confidant, my BFF, my amigo wrapped in sweet tea and Chipotle.
And I desperately wish I could tell you our relationship ended in all kinds of happy, happy, joy, joy. But it didn’t.
If it was easier to run, then I was easier to control.
If it was easier to run, then I was easier to deceive.
If it was easier to run, then I was easier to betray.
If it was easier to run, then I was easier to capture.
If it was easier to run, then I was easier to torture.
The same will be for you, too.
If your life is easier, then your life is creating endless circles on your wilderness path, and the only way to remedy that is to run, in desperate pursuit, in the opposite direction of easier. You’re gonna need to find your reason and your purpose to engage in heavy-handed battle. If you choose not move with intention, easier will find you and easier will gorge happily on your submissive passivity.
That breathing piece of art that stares back at you in the mirror every day, remember her, remember him?
That infant babe of yours, the biggest green eyes your universe has ever seen, holding tight to your pinkies, remember her, remember him?
That lover you don’t ever want to live without, remember her, remember him?
They… they, are your reason to engage in a fierce battle with easier.
For your sake, and theirs, I plead with you… don’t be easier.